MAD.

I was with CLAMEL today. :D
It was so fun! And I am very happy we had our reunion already.
'Cos I really miss them.
But there is one thing bothering me.
&& that's Cris.
I saw him today. && he's mad at me.
He texted me that I always disappoint him.
If I let him wait in vain again,
it'll be over for us.
At the moment I red that, until now...
it made me so sad.....
I don't want him to leave me.
Cris I'm sorry for the things I've done!!!
I'm not perfect but please give me another chance.
I'll change for you.
Just don't leave me. I'll try my best for you. :'(

Sighs.

Sorry I haven't updated recently because my mouse broke.
So, last night we were talking on the phone.
He was doubting that I love him. :( Aww.
Yes. I am not DEEPLY in love, but I do love him.
Cris!!! If you only knew. Sighs.

Confused?

Okay. Cris just let me know that he will officially break up with his girlfriend. && of course, what does it mean? For us to be together already. I really didn't expect anything from him. && it's really fine with me if he will choose his girlfriend. Right now, he chose me. && I don't think I'm not YET ready for any relationship. But it's unfair for his part (I think), If I don't yet agree for us to have this boy-girlfriend relationship. But I still have my time to get ready because he can't break up with his GF immediately, it will take time. I don't know. I'm not yet DEEPLY in love with him. && I don't know if I will fall harder or I will eventually fall out of love if we're already committed. One thing I know is for sure. Cris is deserving. All I know is he's different from the other guys && he will not break my heart. So yeah, at this point I can't reject him. Because he's gonna hurt so much, he loves me so much that he will break up with his 2 year girlfriend just for me. He's expecting so much from me guys! I'm not gonna let him down. So yeah, I think I'm gonna do it.

Quotes out of my sadness.

Since I'm sad tonight. Because Cris doesn't pay much attention to me since it's his monthsary with his girlfriend. Here's some quotes expressing what I feel:


It's simple, you say you've seen better days and not. I guess we go our separate ways. Here's one for my loneliness and two for how we used to be, three strikes to my chest and four for all my jealousy.



On the count of three I'll never think of you again. I know I'm lying, does it show that badly? I've kept these thoughts so clandestine and perfect, but the bleeding heart, you know, just isn't worth it. Well here it goes. One, two three. It didn't work.



I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head and I ache to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said.

You know what really sucks about falling for a guy you
know you're not right for? You fall anyways because you
think he might be different.



There's a reason why people describe love as being "head over heels."
You feel like you're completely turned upside down. There's the physical
stuff --your cheeks getting hot, the flutters in your stomach. And then
there's the mental madness -- you feel like you're losing your mind because
all you can think about is the way they smell, how good it feels when they
put their arms around you, or the cute little dimple they get when they smile.
When you're with them, there's no other place you'd rather be; when you're
not, you can barely wait until you see them again. Love is a total high - better
than eating chocolate, acing a test, or scoring the winning goal.



There's no other feeling in the world
like knowing that he could be with
any girl in the entire world, but he
chooses to be with you.


Here's to the moment;
This moment in your life when nothing at all
is perfect, but everything feels so right.

It’s not the big events that hurt the
most, but rather the smallest questionable
shift in tone at the end of a spoken word
that can plow most deeply into the heart.

Spongebob: What do you usually do when I’m gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

Addiction. It's something we all go
through. We love something so much
we end up using it all the time. But at
the same time, it's killing us. It tears us
down in side until we can hardly breathe.
It brings us to rock bottom. But in the
end? We can't give it up. Because no
matter how much pain it causes us, the
few moments of pleasure are always worth it.

I like falling off my skateboard
the way I like loving you.
Broken hearts, like broken bones, hurt well.

---
Okay, while searching for pictures, he texted me like a million times.
But I was too fvcked off to reply to his messages.
So yeah, sorry Cris. Oops! xD
Oh no. Can't find anymore pictures, I'll edit this maybe next time. :P
Gotta go! Still gonna think of what I will say to Cris. :))
Pity him. Saying sorry like a little puppy.
Okay. Let's stop this crap. I'll swallow my pride.
I think I'll say sorry too. :) Love you Cris!ü

My first post.

Okay. I'm back in blogspot again. :)
From now on, I will post all:
my feelings,
the happenings in my life,
whatever i wanted to say
here. :D
I don't know if I will still post in my Xanga.
I think I will continue blogging here.
Let's start. :D
Last night, Cris didn't text me. Boo for him!
&& yes, Tamy called last night.
We talked until 3am. Hahahaha.
After that, I didn't sleep yet.
Glenn && I still talked about Cris.
Oh my! It's so complicated.
I don't want to think of it right now.
I will just continue working for my gift for him! :D
It's almost done. I just need a CD.
For me to put my songs dedicated to him.
&& that's it!! :D
Okay, so much update for now. Till next time! :D
Love lots! ♥

--Oh, I almost forgot.
Happy monthsary for Cris && his girlfriend. xD